The Challenge

 

This morning's devotion hit me, like a ton of bricks (as the saying goes); it hit me right between the eyes.

I have been stuffing down (and simultaneously exploding about) a situation at work. It has really gotten me frustrated over the past month.

A situation with a lack of respect, a lack of trust, and a lack of planning.

I was asked to be part of a team for our building, but in the end - and over the course of about four consecutive weeks - our team's planning and decisions have been usurped by someone above us - changing our decisions, telling us they don't like what we have decided, and making their own plans and decisions - effectively, rending our team useless and unnecessary.

I have been "exploding" with the other team members to each other.  We all feel disrespected, not heard, and useless. We all want to quit the team.  But we have all also been "stuffing" our feelings down and not addressing our feelings with Admin, going along with and acting like everything is fine on the surface.

When you read today's devotion (below), you will see what I mean.  It explains this situation exactly, and it allows me to understand that, obviously, my team and I are not alone in our feelings or actions in these types of scenarios.

I am going to pray over my situation.  God has shown me this morning that I am not acting with soul integrity, as James 3:17 teaches us to behave, and I want to act as God thinks I should.

I know I have work to do to reach this lofty goal James imparts upon us.  I'm not even sure I can do it, but if Scripture teaches it, I am positive I have to try.

Read today's devotion from Lysa Terkeurst and see if any of it resonates with you.  Maybe you can join me in the journey to soul integrity.  It is my prayer, that no matter our age or where we are on life's path, we will find our own personal soul integrity.

Happy Saturday my friends.

PRETENDING I'M FINE, PROVING I'M RIGHT

If someone says something or does something that hurts me, what is the godly response? Is it to pretend that everything is fine so I can keep the peace? Or is it to confront the person to prove how wrong she is?

Neither.

If ever I catch myself pretending or proving, I know I'm processing my hurt the wrong way.

The right way is approaching this situation with soul integrity—responding in a way that's not only honest but peacemaking. James 3:17 says, "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure (honest); then peace-loving… " Yes, I want this kind of wisdom, this soul integrity.

I want to be honest and peacemaking at the same time. But how?

Real honesty. Not all honest expressions of my feelings are real honesty. You see, my honest feelings may not be truthful assessments of the situation. I can be honest with how I feel and still exaggerate or misinterpret what is true. I can feel justified in being blatant about my feelings—not hiding a thing—and prideful for being so real, all under the guise of being honest enough not to stuff.

But in reality, honesty that isn't true isn't honesty at all. It may just be emotional spewing. That's why we need peacemaking honesty—honesty reined in by the Holy Spirit—if we're going to have authentic soul integrity.

So, if I want real honesty, I have to ask the Holy Spirit to show me real truth. I need to see things from the other person's perspective. I need to ask questions of that person with the desire to better understand instead of throwing out statements of accusation. Ultimately, my goal should be to add peacemaking to my honesty.

Real peacemaking. At the same time, it must also grieve God to see plastic versions of peacemaking that aren't reined in by honesty. That's what we do when we stuff and pretend everything is okay.

The upside of stuffing is that we have the semblance of peacemakers. But when we do so at the expense of honesty, we harbor a corrosive bitterness that will eventually emerge. Either it will erode our health and later present itself in a host of emotional and physical anxiety-induced illnesses, or it will accumulate over time and surprise everyone when the peacemaker eventually erupts. Saying, "I'm fine," to keep the peace, when we're really not fine, isn't honest.

Sometimes dishonesty comes in the form of saying things that aren't true. But it's also dishonest when we fail to say things that are true. It may seem godly in the moment, but it's false godliness.

Truth and godliness always walk hand in hand. The minute we divorce one from the other, we stray from soul integrity and give a foothold to the instability that inevitably leads to coming unglued.

Yes, we're after soul integrity—honesty that is also peacemaking that leads to godliness.

This soul integrity brings balance to unglued reactions. It makes us true peacemakers — people who aren't proving or pretending but rather honestly demonstrating what they are experiencing in a godly manner. And being a true peacemaker reaps a harvest of great qualities in our lives: right things, godly things, healthy things.

PRAYER
Dear Lord, through You I am able to bring all my exploding and stuffing under Your authority and truth. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit who gives me the wisdom to move beyond my reactions. Help me lean on You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Were You Let Down?

 

Good morning my friends, and Happy Valentine's Day.

I am sitting at my kitchen counter this morning, with my little pink and gold mug full of hot coffee, trying to stay warm and positive.

Yep, you read that right - positive.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of trying to make it work - okay, make everything work, all the time.

The County taxes went up.  My homeowner's insurance went up.  My mortgage payment increased $200.  The basement pump is broken.  The fence is falling down, and my yard now looks like Sanford and Son's backyard. 

It just keeps piling on and on and on.  I'm exhausted.  I'm not sleeping through the night.  I just wonder, "God, when does the hamster wheel end and I get some peace?  When do I get to stop spending money on life and start spending it on others?"

And, a lot of times - our own personal woes with money, work, and staying afloat bleed into our own self-pity of being disappointed with others.

I can personally count on one hand - and probably two if I thought about it long and hard enough - the women around me who have been disappointed in the men in their lives.  Affairs, mental health issues, abandonment, and marriage & family commitment issues are just a few of the hurdles these women have faced.

It's not surprising our stress levels are high, that we are developing emotional scars, and that we are losing trust in other humans. 

I, too, struggle with trust issues.  Our past paths in life create scars in our hearts that blur our outlook on both our current and future paths.  All the women I am thinking about this morning are strong Christians, who have profound faith in God.  Yet, we all still struggle with being disappointed with someone in our lives.

As I sat here this morning, after another night of restless sleep and worry, I opened my laptop to see what God had for me.  I read this.  It really hit home and opened my mind to the reminder that I am not alone at being disappointed in people.  We all struggle with this one thing.

The key to remember - I believe - is to not let the devil see it and capitalize on it.  He relishes in our failures.  He delights in diverting us off God's path.  So, to my girls this morning - I see you.  I believe this devotion was for you.

I hope it touches you and reminds you - like it did me - that we must grieve; we must show God our tears and/or our anger; and we must accept that people fail, but God never will!

I see you.  I love you.  Embrace today - Valentine's Day - remembering that the greatest Valentine of all was Jesus and the gift of LOVE he gave us on that bitter, bitter Friday afternoon.  That give of LOVE redeemed us all.  YOU ARE WORTHY and not forgotten! 

When People Let You Down

Disappointment feels like a heavy rock sinking to the bottom of my spirit—especially when others disappoint or deceive me. Often I ignore my disappointment, shut it in a box and hope the lid holds. Sometimes I gloss it over with a quick, “People will let you down, but God never will.” True, but does this really help me process the hurt?

One morning, I poured out my sadness, anger and disappointment to God about a close relationship. As the tears slipped down my face, I begged for an answer: What do I do with this? Show me. I’ll do it because what I’ve been doing is not working.

In my spirit, Jesus said, “Grieve.”

Really? I questioned. I remembered that Jesus knew disappointment—Peter’s denial, Judas’s betrayal and the disciples falling asleep during his anguish before his crucifixion (see Matthew 26). Jesus understood my pain.

So I cried, feeling every ounce of the disappointment. I told God all the things I wished were different, all the things I thought this person had done wrong, and what I wished this person would change.

After the winds of grief subsided, I was done. Grieving was the bridge I had to cross to move beyond the disappointment. On the other side, I could embrace the relationship for what it was, not what it wasn’t.

Only after we’ve allowed ourselves to grieve will we know how to respond in the way God wants. We may need to talk to the person who disappointed us or get godly counsel. We may need healthy boundaries or to just let it go.

Once we’ve completed those steps, the words “People will let you down, but God never will” will be comforting, not empty.

By Melanie Chitwood

2 Corinthians 1

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 

From Darkness to Light

 

Don't you love these kind of moments?

I woke up this morning thinking about a friend of mine, maybe even two of them. How they took me from a place of sadness, held my hand, and helped me heal. Brought me to this current day, where happiness has returned and MAYBE I'm starting to find and see ME again.

I reflected back on things one of those friends said to me, as I compared and belittled my grief to his, a widow of four years. He encouraged me not to belittle or bury my grief or compare it to others.

He said, "Pain is pain." When I said, "Why am I struggling so much? Why did a broken heart hurt so much? Why did it dismantle me?" He said, "FIVE YEARS. It was FIVE YEARS. Give yourself some grace."

As I sent a Good Morning text to that friend this morning, I reflected back on these moments and what he has grown to mean to me. How our friendship has grown and blossomed. How we talked through our own personal valleys, as well as valleys we experienced together and yet, kept going forward.

My heart warmed as I thought about the journey.

And then I opened my laptop to read this morning's devotional. (Real-Life Devotions by Lysa TerKeurst, if you want to join the plan.) This is what I read.

I pray it blesses you like it did me. I love these moments when God not only shows up, but He says, "I heard you this morning. I have something for you."

Read on:

"Trapped like a firefly in a mason jar. Stifled, I peered out, watching others’ dreams, hopes and joys twinkle and fly by my stagnant ones. My own desires sat dusty in my valley of pain.

Extinguished. Exhausted. Expectant no longer.

“I’m so sorry your dreams are dashed,” my friend offered. “I wish I had known sooner how painful this disappointment has been. It would been an honor to walk it out with you.”

“Thanks. But a broken heart is silly. Especially in light of others’ pain.” Who was I to be sad about a mere breakup?

Silenced by self-doubt. Belittled by unworthiness. I diminished my pain, fearing it insignificant. In the process I belittled God’s care about my pain. Healing had been offered, yet I walked away, thinking it not worth his trouble.

My friend took my hand, and we journeyed back to when she had lost two children. Someone then had told her to check her pain at the door. Keep it in perspective to others’ pain.

We journeyed back to another time when pain was acknowledged, not tucked in a dark corner. Then she turned to the Lord, who administered healing from the grief of empty arms and empty cribs.

My friend took my hand again and we journeyed forward. “Don’t belittle your grief. Your pain is genuine. This valley is real. You must acknowledge the Lord is near and accept his help to get out.”

My friend granted me permission to feel my ache and loss. Drastically different than her own, yet no less honest. In that moment I realized I’d held my pain at a distance. Yet truth resonated in her words. No one loves us or offers healing like God does.

Perhaps it is time to acknowledge the pain, like Job did in Job 7:11. To become aware of the Lord’s care—an “always there” presence. No matter what other voices have said, your pain is valid. God cares deeply and longs to heal you. No pain is too great … or too small. Often we just need someone to remind us that God longs to remove the lid on our mason jar and fly next to us, out of the valley.

By Samantha Reed"

So, you see.  God is listening.  He does hear us.

Friend, don't belittle your valleys and your hurt.  Don't compare it to others. Let God heal you.

As the saying goes, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Friend, don't let the devil win.

Go ahead.  Open your mason jar.  Let your firefly out and let the healing begin.

I love you, and so does God.

2 Corinthians 1

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.